Cry Pretty - Blog Inspired by Carrie Underwood

Cry Pretty - Blog Inspired by Carrie Underwood

           So, as we all know, Carrie endured a really harsh fall back in November of 2017. Ever since she fell, she has remained out of the public eye and away from cameras! True Carrie Underwood fans have stuck by her through the past several months and have remained very positive and empathetic of her accident along with her healing process and the emotional trauma that she endured. Reports say that she suffered severe damage to her face and injured her wrist as well. There have been a lot of people whom disagree with her choice to stay to herself and out of the limelight. There are also a lot of people whom claim that she is being vain and dramatic. Is she really being vain or is she just being a normal human who wants her own privacy and space? I would imagine that it is hard for her especially since part of her career is her looks (as with any other celebrity) and when something tragic like this happens and you are not sure how it will heal and/or end up that it would be hard to deal with. No one knows at the time that something happens how it will heal or end up. Unbeknownst to all of the world, Carrie has been songwriting while she has been healing. Her new single from her album that is set to debut on September 14, 2018 was an emotionally inspired song in which was touching to not only herself with the recent events that have happened in her life but completely applicable to the lives of everyone. Why? Well, because we ALL have our struggles and hardships. Contrary to trendy belief, celebrities have hardships as well. Maybe not financially but they are real people with real feelings too! 
          Just before she stepped on stage again for the first time in five months, she released her new single "Cry Pretty" and performed it live on April 15th, 2018 at the ACM Awards. Her new song is an emotional country ballad that speaks to many people on many distinct levels. This song is emotional especially for women but in some cases could be applicable to men as well depending on the interpretation. I think it is important for well-known celebrities especially one like Carrie Underwood to remind their fans that it is okay to be human and have issues, especially for women. Cry Pretty definitely spoke volumes on Carrie's most recent accident which was a very trying and emotional time for her and most likely resulted in several tears.


          It is no secret that women are very emotional creatures by nature and we have all cried a time or two, probably way more than that, in our life. The song starts off with an apology for not showing her emotions publicly and that she's usually pretty good at holding everything together (most likely for the sake of media and cameras in her situation). She goes into the chorus of the song by saying, "You can pretty lie and say it's okay. You can pretty smile and just walk away. Pretty much fake your way through anything but you can't cry pretty." Those three lines alone are very powerful and meaningful. It is pretty much saying that you can cover your feelings and emotions with smiles and saying "I'm okay" and put on a front or a facade just to dredge through the hard times but when you are alone and it all comes out, it is not going to be as pretty as the smile was and that you cannot lie to yourself about what is really going on or how you are really feeling. You will always know the truth.
          She then goes into the second verse with the lyrics, "Oh no you can't dress it up in lace or rhinestones. It don't matter if you're in a crowd or home all alone. Yea, it's all the same when you're looking in the mirror; a picture of pain so let it flow like a river." This is the verse that gets me every time and is a very powerful statement. When you really sit and think about it, it is what most women struggle with daily. As women, we are responsible for many different tasks and roles. Whether it is being a wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc. we, as women, are the strongest creatures on this Earth. Most men would disagree, but we are the ones whom are capable of carrying a child, we birth children, as a mother we are the strongest figures in our children's lives, etc. Aside from the fact that mothers are the strongest figures in our children's lives, there is a high percentage of women whom are single mothers and are picking up the slack of the absent parent as well which takes even more strength because that means more responsibility and more roles to fulfill. As women, because we are required to be so "well put together", organized, strong, the problem solver, the analytical thinker, etc. we are expected, by society and life, to always have it together and to always have our I's dotted and our T's crossed and if we drop the ball and something doesn't go as it should then we are the ones who get the flack for it and we are perceived differently or may be looked at as irresponsible or weak. On top of that, society has groomed the human mind to think that women should all look like the magazines; thin, in shape, perfect body, perfect smile, perfect hair, and that nothing should be out of place ever. Well, we all know that life just doesn't work like that. We are all different. We all have different body types and shapes, we all have unique features, we all don't weigh the same but since sex sells, that is what is expected of us. I am a woman who is a single mother and while I try to be "well put together" all the time, sometimes that is not the way that the day ends up. There are times when motherhood (or parenting in general) is not at all cute and attractive. There are times when I go to the grocery store without makeup on. There are times that my hair is a mess or thrown up in a "laundry bun", as I call it. It is all part of this thing called life that we live every single day. As much as society makes it appear as though life is perfect all the time, we all know that is not the case. Motherhood is ugly more than it is attractive. And the ugliest of it all is when we become so overwhelmed with life and certain circumstances that we break down and cry. That is never attractive. We never look like Sandra Bullock crying in "The Blind Side". That is just not how life rolls. It is all about who we are as a person and what type of heart that we have. We, especially as women, are so focused and wrapped up in what "society" expects us to be that we often lose sight of ourselves and we come down really hard on ourselves instead of just taking a moment to breathe and realize that we are still strong and beautiful even if we are having a weak moment and that it is okay to cry and to not look like the model on the cover of the Sports Illustrated magazine in the process. We forget that we still have a purpose and that we are valuable. These are the things that we have to keep our focus on. Always strive to fulfill your purpose. You may get off track from time to time and that is okay. Getting off track is what we need sometimes to make us focus and get back on course. That statement essentially expresses that no matter what you try to do cosmetically, you cannot cover the truth. You may be able to cover the truth from everyone else but when you look in the mirror, you're going to see the pain and hurt. You're going to see the trauma that you're holding within and no matter what everyone else doesn't know, you’re knowledgeable of the truth and that is what tears you apart more than what other people may or may not know. 



          We are so used to hiding our feelings and emotions with makeup and pretty clothes and covering up the "are you okay" question with, "I'm fine" , Maybelline, and eyeliner but the reality is, we aren't okay and there are a ton of blemishes underneath the cosmetics that we’ve plastered on to prevent anyone from noticing that anything was wrong. Express yourself. Talk to someone. Get it out. Don't hold it in. No matter how ugly it may be, you must let it out. Maybe your struggles or your hardships will be what someone else needs to hear. Maybe you can inspire someone else or lift someone else up with your feelings, situation, struggles, etc. When you are going through something, you're not alone. Someone else is going through challenging and demanding times too.
          The bridge of the song states, "You can't turn off the flood when the dam breaks. When all your mascara is going to waste." This statement speaks to me in terms of, you only keep the facade for so long. Everyone has a breaking point, even the strongest of people and it will happen no matter what you try to do to avoid it. Find that crying spot and let it out. It is okay. Again, we don't always have to be pretty. We can be unattractive from time to time too. At the end of the day, we are all still human.
          I say all of that to say this: Be yourself, take care of yourself and remember that it’s okay to cry and let it out. This song has been a "hit home" song for me and a huge breakthrough moment for myself and my life. When I sit and think about the series of events that have taken place in my life within the last four years and I reflect on the pain, heartache, disappointment, and sadness that I have endured, it’s by the grace of my awesome God that I am not completely crazy and/or out of control. When I think about how many times someone has asked me if I was okay and I've replied "yes" without hesitation knowing deep down that I was a far cry from okay. Often, as women, we are faced with the injustice of being expected to keep it together. So that the world’s a "little better looking!" When we do look in the mirror, we see not only our pain reflected but also the cost of hiding it. Much like Carrie Underwood and many other artists and celebrities, we tend to focus on glam and hiding our pain to appear okay, gorgeous, or perfect that we obscure the true and distinct beauty that we all hold within ourselves. And as for Carrie Underwood, or any other celebrity, it’s all about appearance, fortune, fame, and glam that we lose sight of the true artistry behind those people and truth and naturalism will always conquer anything else.
         So just remember that no matter how ugly life gets, you can't throw beauty on it with material items or cosmetic items and expect to "cry pretty". 

Police - Honor, Protect, And Serve: We Got Your 6!

    Wow. Wow. Wow. That is all I can say! This is a very hard blog to write. I am at such a loss for words but at the same time, I have so much to say if that makes any sense at all! I am in utter shock and disbelief that I am actually sitting here and having to write this blog at this very moment in time but I think that it is something that NO ONE should remain silent about, especially if you are as passionate about this topic as I am. 
    For anyone that doesn't know me, my father is a police officer at the Fernandina Beach Police Department. He is now, as of June 2016, a Sergeant; an 11 year veteran with his department. There are many roles that comes with being a police officer that people don't even begin to think about. Police officers do everything from investigate major crimes to remove a dead wild rodent out of the road. When someone sees something or something happens, no matter how major or minor, the police are the first ones that people call!
    
    There has been an ongoing rise in police hostility across America the last few months, actually years but it has become exceptionally worse over the last few months. Our country is in turmoil. We need more help now than we have ever needed. We need help becoming one again, we need help loving each other but we must start with being able to love ourselves first, we need help finding peace and doing so the right way, we need help to deal with the struggles that we are facing and learn how to push through and overcome those struggles so that it doesn't continue to hold us down and prohibit us from being able to move forward, we need help seeking our purpose and figuring out our plan in which to utilize our purpose in a positive and meaningful way, we need help stopping hatred, we need help stopping racism, we need help stopping abuse, we need help stopping categorizing everything. WE NEED HELP! That is the bottom line. We have troops overseas fighting for us, yet we have more war right here among ourselves than we have ever had with anyone overseas. We have formed a world and a society full of people that would rather see division and separation verses coming together as one to make positive changes. We have created a society where the positive things get swept under the rug and the negativity is what gets broadcast via the media. We have created a world where people cannot agree to disagree and do so peacefully. We live in a world where integrity, morals, values, trustworthiness, honesty, and dependability is very scarce. 

    There is a large number of people whom are highly against the police right now and whom have ill intentions against them. There are people that want to harm them and cause chaos and trauma to them because of something that took place with another officer. There are a large number of people that categorize ALL police officers as crooks and "bad cops"! That is NOT the case. Just because something happened that you FEEL or VIEW as wrong, does not mean that it is in fact wrong. People act on impulse and they do everything but the right thing. Regardless of whether or not what took place with the 2 police-involved shootings that led to all the police ambushing recently was wrong or not, lashing out and attacking officers, destroying businesses, cars, streets, cities, towns, public property, etc is definitely not the way to handle it. Why would you destroy your own city? Killing other innocent police officers in states that were not even involved is not the way to go! Making it a race issue versus a right or wrong issue is not the way to handle it. If it was justified then great! If it is found unjustified then regardless of the skin color of the person who's lost their life, THEY ARE STILL GONE! There is still a mother out there that has lost a child and that is missing her child. There is still a child or children out there missing their father, someone missing their brother or boyfriend or uncle or nephew or cousin. The list goes on and on. 
    
    With that being said, the officers that are falling daily also have families that are missing a mother/father, husband/wife, brother/sister, son/daughter, niece/nephew, cousin, uncle/aunt, and so forth and so on.

    Police officers are there for everyone, even though 99.9% of us are strangers to them. They are there for us rain, hail, sleet, or snow. They are there for us despite how long of a record we have. They are there for us no matter what time of night or morning. They are there for us even though we may be battling a drug or alcohol addiction. They are there for us even when they may have had a "less than polite" encounter with us in the past. They are there for us to keep us safe. They are there to protect us from danger and potential dangers. They are there to help lead us in the right direction when things are a bit hazy and we can't seem to find our way through this maze called life. They are there. Hand in hand. Step by step. They are normal people too. They have families too. They have kids too. They have grandkids too. They live in our community too. They shop at the same stores that we do. They eat at the same restaurants that we do. They take vacations just like we do. They have hobbies just like we do. They have feelings just like we do. They have fears just like we do. THEY ARE NORMAL PEOPLE!

    Remember who is there for you when your car breaks down and you need help getting out of the flow of traffic, when your significant other/spouse is being abusive, when your child is missing, when your neighbor is being a nuisance, when you need directions to a certain location, when you get robbed, when you are a victim of sexual abuse, when you are struggling with something and you are having suicidal thoughts but you live to see another day because you didn't overdose or jump from that bridge, when your house/vehicle is broken into, who delivers bad news to families when loved ones are found dead, when someone with hostile road rage tries to run you off the road, when there is an ongoing issue in your neighborhood that you feel needs to be reported, when you're in a car accident, who is to credit when your child comes home and tells you that they learned about saying no to drugs in school, there is an animal stuck in a storm drain, when there is a wild animal dead in the middle of the road, when your child falls into a pool, when there is NO ONE else to stand up in front of the enemy and take that chance, a police officer is that hero that will and never ask for anything in return!
   
    No police officer joins the force and hopes to have to draw and use their firearm. In fact, that is the one thing that they all hope that they never have to do, however, they are prepared for when the enemy decides to confront them that they will do whatever it takes to protect and serve their community and that they will keep us safe as well as their fellow brothers and sisters in blue and they will worry about themselves last. That is a lot of weight to carry around. They have hundreds and thousands and sometimes hundreds of thousands of lives on their shoulders that they carry around on a daily basis and nine times out of ten, they only have a fraction of seconds to make that quick of a decision on what they are going to do. That is a lot of weight to carry around. That is a lot of responsibility. 

    April of 2015, I got a very scary call at work. I got the call that I had always hoped to never get! I received a call stating that my daddy had been involved in a police involved shooting. I was told that was all the details that they had at the moment. This information was relayed to me via my grandmother because she wanted to tell me before I saw it through the media and really had a meltdown. She was on her way to the police station when she called me and I immediately lost it. I fell to pieces. I prayed and I asked God to please not let my daddy be shot. Please just let him make it home safely! About an hour passed and I received another call stating that daddy was okay and that he was the one that fired the shots. The story is a lengthy story, however, the bottom line is that the suspect attempted to steal a television from Wal-Mart and when he was stopped, he got violent and tried to stab the Wal-Mart employee with a syringe and they called 911 and my daddy responded, was in a high-speed pursuit and the suspect attempted to run my daddy over with his SUV and my dad opened fire into his truck so that he did not run over him, his fellow brothers and sisters, and so that he did not get back out onto the main road and put hundreds of other innocent lives at risk with his erratic driving. The suspect did end up living. The bullet entered at the side of the eye and came out around the temple region. He lost his eye and he was on life-support in critical condition for over a week but he is alive and has been sentenced to 20 years in prison with no chance of parole. Daddy was placed on administrative leave which is basic protocol, however, he returned to work 4 days following the shooting (after giving statements, etc) and when I heard that on the news, I called him and I was very upset. I was asking him why he was going back to work so soon when all of that had just happened and his words to me were this (and this has resignated with me since this day):

" Des, I am fine. 11 years ago, when I was hired on with the Fernandina Beach Police Department, I put my rand hand up, I was sworn in and I took an oath that I would put my community and my fellow officers' lives before my own and that if danger neared us, I would have their back. I am to protect and serve and that is what I did. I do not feel as though I did anything wrong and I do not feel as though the investigation will be found unjustified. I will tell you that this is by far what I ever hoped I would have to do and I hope that I never have to do it again but I was mentally prepared that this day could have come at some point during my law enforcement career and here we are. Just have to look danger in the eyes and overcome. I am not in fear of returning to work. I am not in fear of the public's reaction to the events that took place. If I was going to be fearful then I should not have become a police officer. I have given my statements, I have had the 4 days off that I needed to speak with the people that I needed to speak with and now it is time to put on my belt, my badge, and my boots and go out there and focus on making our community a better place. That is what it's all about!"

Those were powerful words. Those are words that will forever stick with me. Those are words that prove that our law enforcement officers do what every day people do not have the courage to do. Law enforcement is a passion, a love for people, a love for your community; not money. 

At the end of the day, we have to stop killing each other and being so divided and racial. A very influential and inspirational person that I have been following always says, "I REFUSE TO SEE HATE LIVE WHILE LOVE DIES" and that has become my new statement in life. We should all view it this way. Another thing is to make sure that you tell the ones near and dear to you that you love them on a daily basis. Don't hold grudges, don't stay mad long, and don't put off 'til tomorrow what you could do today because tomorrow is never promised. What is promised is every current second that you are alive. Make the most of those moments. Keep moving forward and NEVER look in the rear view mirror. LOVE ALWAYS, even when it seems as though you are all out of love; you're not. Keep going. Someone out there loves you. Someone out there cares for you. There are officers dying daily. We need to stop losing our officers. This has gone on long enough!

What happened to the days that police officers used to be the faces that everyone wanted to see? People used to smile at the sight of their squad car or uniform? People would see their presence at a store, parking lot, apartment complex, neighborhood, school, church, park, etc. and experience a sense of relief and a sense of safety and security? What happened to the days that a police officer's presence used to bring peace to people? What happened to the days that people used to respect them? What happened to the days that people would turn TO them and not against them? Why is it so hard to love and so easy to hate when hatred has been proven to be mentally, physically, and emotionally harder? Why are groups as a whole targeted because ONE person did something wrong or was a crooked person?Why do we pick and choose which type and/or level of broken integrity we choose to recognize? What makes the police officer that "wrongfully" killed another human any worse than the convicted felon that shot into an occupied dwelling and/or vehicle and took the lives of an innocent child(ren)? Why is it that we can mingle upon other races until a crime occurs between 2 people of opposite races? Why does it have to be about black lives matter or white lives matter; why not all lives matter? Why is it that we are so divided by color yet, the biracial population is larger than it has ever been and is still growing? Why is the race card the first line of defense instead of analyzing morals and values and stopping the hatred long enough to really think about who is wrong and who is right? How do people teach their children to hate based on skin color differences and be okay with that?What does lashing out because of anger solve? Why do we destroy our own cities, towns and property? Why can we not grasp that we (the taxpayers) have to pay for the repair costs after they have destroyed it all? Is love REALLY that hard? Is love something that is lacking this much within our country? Why is it that as parents, we are here to protect, love, and nurture our children yet, when things don't go someone's way, murder and violence is the resolution but yet your hurting and someone else's child too by lashing out in that manner?!

All I am saying is that we need to stop being so hateful towards one another! We need to show more love. We need to make it part of our daily activities. Share with others what you did to show love that day. As I stated before, its not about bragging or boasting - it is simply using love and positive actions and characteristics to drown the negativity. That is the only way. Love will never run out. There is enough to go around and around. Even death cannot kill love! Continue praying for our officers! Please please please. 

United We Stand, Divided We Fall

    United We Stand, Divided We Fall! What happened to those days? What happened to being a country that loved one another? What happened to being a country that came together in a time of need and did so peacefully instead of turning our backs on one another? What did our country fight for civil/equal rights for if we were all just going to turn on one another and have wars amongst ourselves due to "differences"? What happened to being able to make change and do it without hostility, violence, anger, and turmoil? What happened to prayer and putting God first? What happened to being able to peacefully protest about things that you don't agree with? What happened to love? What happened to respect? Why have we become a country of pure hatred? When will this stop? When will we be ONE again? 

    The answer is very simple but there are a lot of reasons as to why our country has divided the way that it has. We have removed God from everything! For many centuries, this country was a country built on the foundations of Christianity, prayer, love, peace, etc. and it was a loving country, people were united and things/people were a lot more kind, more peaceful, safer, and whole. You still had your crime, you still had bad people but things definitely were not constant chaos and turmoil like they are now. 

Psalms 97:10 - You who love the Lord hate evil! He preserves the souls of His saints; He delivers them out of the hand of the wicked.

    I remember when you could turn the news on and not hear 9 stories of homicides that occurred in the same day. You didn't hear about churches being targeted, the LGBT communities being targeted, police officers being targeted. What happened to those days? 

    It doesn't cost anything to love. It doesn't cost anything to be kind. It doesn't cost anything to pray. Those three things I just mentioned don't even require energy. Being angry, rioting, fighting, attacking, killing, injuring innocent people and taking innocent lives is what costs. That is what takes energy. And the outcome is; NOTHING. We get nowhere.

    Think about this for a moment. People feel as though a life was taken for no reason. So we all get together and retaliate in anger and turmoil and take five times the amount of lives than the one that was originally taken? We have five times the amount of families that are grieving and devastated. Instead of peacefully coming together and praying and making "change" the peaceful and legal way, we want to be violent? What does that solve? It is a revolving door of chaos and there is no end in sight. If we continue to stay in this circle, there will never be any resolution because a circle has no end. 

    Instead of our country just flat out saying that, "we as a country need to come together and stop the issues that we are facing", they would rather divide everyone into categories and labels. 

    Lets think about this for a moment! As Americans, we label people for everything. If you're white, you're racist. If you're Muslim, you're a terrorist. If you're black, you're a criminal. If you're a police officer, you're crooked. If you're part of the LGBT community, you're going to hell. We even label people down to the clothing they were, their weight, their income, tattoos, piercings, intelligence, religion, etc. JUST STOP! 

    Take me for example, I am a white woman, 24 years old, single mother, biracial child, work full time, full time college student, have 10 tattoos, not skinny but not severely overweight. A lot of things that label me. But none of those matter! What matters is that I have a kind heart, I am loving, I obey the law, never been in any kind of trouble legally, I go to work daily and provide the best life for my child that I am capable of providing. I would give the shirt off of my back for anyone. I have helped the homeless man on the corner that just wanted something to drink but I have also turned down some too. I teach my daughter right from wrong, she has manners, well-behaved, she is innocent and loves innocently. She is not taught to look at skin color, religion, etc. In our home, none of that matters. IF everyone were like this, our country would be a much better place to live. 

Proverbs 10:12 - Hatred stirs up strife, But love coveres all sins.

     Our society and country has become so full of hatred that animals are more kind and nicer than humans are. This is a sad reality. Animals do things for each other that humans would NEVER do. What is wrong with this picture?

    Why does media feel the need to fuel the fire? That is all that they do. They want people angry and in turmoil because that just gives them more to report. Just remember that they report what they want you to hear or what they want you to know. Take it with a grain of salt. They want us to be doing exactly what we are doing right now; hating each other.

    We should not judge or hate because someone believes in a different religion than I do, because someone is a different skin color, because she weighs less than me, because she weighs more than me, because she has blue eyes and I have brown eyes. None of those things matter. Those are physical things. The physical and material things is NOT what makes a person who they are. At the end of the day, if the "surface" is lacerated, we all bleed red. We all have the same insides, we all have the same organs. The skin color is just that; color of the surface. What you possess within your heart, the actions you portray, the way you treat people, the way you help others and not judge others is what makes you a good or bad person. 

   Just because someone is of different race, religion, sexuality, etc. does not mean that if their life was taken tomorrow that their family would grieve or hurt any less than the families of anyone else that has lost a life. We all hurt. We are all human. We all have emotions. We all make mistakes. Forgiveness is the key. Until you learn to forgive those that have wronged you, you will never be able to live in peace. You must forgive. Forgiveness is the hardest thing to do but it feels relaxing when you have been able to overcome that obstacle. It may not happen right away and it is a process, but we have to take it one step at a time and continue to move forward in the direction of progress. 

    Our Lord and Savior has forgiven us over and over again for much bigger sins and mistakes and He continues to forgive no matter how many times we make the same mistakes. If He can do it, so can we. If He can take the most brutal beating imaginable then we can learn to forgive people for their wrongdoings. 

    Time changes a lot of things, however, so do people. People can choose to change their hearts and when we start changing our hearts, we can demand change. And when we demand change peacefully, you get further quicker and you get results that you never thought you'd get! 

It starts with WE THE PEOPLE!

"Everything Has Its Time"
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 - - To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose under heaven: 
A time to be born, And a time to die;
A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted;
A time to kill,
And a time to heal;
A time to break down,
And a time to build up;
A time to weep,
And a time to laugh;
A time to mourn,
And a time to dance;
A time to cast away stones,
And a time to gather stones;
A time to embrace,
And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to gain,
And a time to lose;
A time to keep,
And a time to throw away;
A time to tear,
And a time to sew;
A time to keep silence,
And a time to speak;
A time to love,
And a time to hate;
A time of war,

And a time of peace.