Stand Your Ground!

It absolutely breaks my heart to see people that are so close to me go through some of the things that they go through. I see girls/women (some that are really close to me and some that are not) put up with some of the most ridiculous stuff from their "significant others", be disrespected, and be taken advantage of and walked on like they are trash.

It is so heartbreaking to me.

I try to give advice, I try to be there for them, I try to life them up when they're down and always be that positive and uplifting person and that ONE TRUE FRIEND that everyone deserves to have but sometimes I feel that it is not enough.

I try to use my experiences as a learning tool for my peers, in hopes that it will make a difference. I have been through a lot in my life, some stuff that NO ONE knows about and I try to share my experiences with others that hold a special place within my heart so that they can learn from it and strive to have much better than what they have right now.

I am strongly inspired about my blogs in which I also write as a helpful resource and a learning tool for others....it just seems as if it is not enough.

I don't understand why some people deal with the things that they deal with.

I just wish that my dearest and close friends would look at me and allow me to be the living proof that even when you're going through something that you think you will never be able to get through, you CAN and you will!

There is better out there.

I know that there are a lot of things that play into people allowing themselves to be treated a particular way but, no matter what the case or the situation is, you still deserve to be treated with dignity, respect, loyalty, and kindness. If you don't receive that treatment then you are wasting time with the wrong person.

Some people try to validate the things that they deal with on children…..I just have to say that kids is no reason to stay with someone and be disrespected and unhappy. Children DO NOT bring happiness. They cannot make someone treat you any better.

In fact, staying in an unhealthy relationship due to having children with that person is actually doing nothing but causing more harm than good. By doing that, you are teaching your children the wrong things. We, as parents, are supposed to lead by example. Our children look up to us. We are supposed to be the ones that are responsible and strong, especially for our children.

As a mother, I’ve learned that even when I’m at a point where I don’t have the strength to keep pushing, I know that I have to find strength somewhere….for Alana.

With daughters, (from a mother’s standpoint) staying in an unhealthy relationship is doing absolutely nothing but setting your daughter up for failure. You are teaching her that it is okay to be with men that are garbage and treat you like crap. You’re teaching her that it is okay to allow people to over step her boundaries. You’re teaching her that it is okay to not have any self-respect for herself. Unfortunately, little girls grow up and try to find men that are like their daddy’s…if their dad or father figure is ridiculous, then that is what she is going to be putting up with and as a mother you should want better for your children.

With boys, staying in an unhealthy relationship is showing your son that it is okay to treat women the way that your significant other treats you. It is ridiculous.

WE ARE OUR CHILDREN’S EXAMPLES. BE WISE, BE MATURE, AND REMEMBER THAT YOUR CHILDREN ARE A PRODUCT OF THEIR ENVIRONMENT!

We all have boundaries and if you don’t then you are allowing yourself to be hurt over and over again. When you set boundaries, you have to stick to them and make sure that you demand respect for your boundaries.

Shall someone over step your boundary then there has to be a “consequence” so to speak.

I’ve said this before and I will say it again, we teach others how to treat us.

If you allow people to continuously walk all over you and disrespect you and you never put your foot down then all you’re doing is inadvertenly telling them, “It is okay that you treat me horribly. Please don’t treat me right. This treatment is absolutely amazing!”

That is what you are telling them.

Hell, if that is the vibe that you are going to give them, you should have just told them from the beginning that you appreciate being mistreated and disrespected and ask them to treat you that way.

If you would never ask someone to treat you badly, then why do you allow it to happen?

A man will only respect you as much as you respect yourself.

 I've quickly come to realize that you can't change someone....they have to want to change.

I've also learned that you can't make someone do something even though you know it is for the better, they have to realize that they need better and can find better on their own. Until they realize that peace is not their reality and that their future can be a lot more devastating than where they are right now, they will NOT change.

Time is something very important and once you invest it, you cannot get it back. Spend your time wisely. Share it wisely. It is something that cannot be taken back and it cannot be refunded. Don't waste an abundance of time on something that you know will never change.

Everyone knows when they need to make changes and they know what departments they need to make changes in, it is up to them to do it or not.

Sometimes, admitting that you need to make some really hard and heartbreaking changes is terrifying to admit and so you deal with whatever and you claim that it is love and although love may play a large part of it, it has more to do with the fact that realizing and admitting that things are not right is absolutely terrifying.

Once you can get past the admission of guilt, you will be just fine.

Just remember, sometimes the most necessary things are the most painful.

 With pain comes strength...be strong and always respect yourself. 

I’ve learned that I care about my close friends more than they care about themselves and that I try way too hard to help other people when they are going through a rough time.

I have a big heart and I care about my friends but if you don’t want to change things to bring peace and happiness to your life then don’t ask me for advice. That is the point that I am too. I am tired of being stressed out because of other people’s problems and their stupidity to not change the things that are wrong. No one can change things for you. Only you can do that.

I can talk to someone until they are blue in the face but until they see reality for themselves, anything that I say will never matter and I am tired of constantly repeating myself to the same people all the time.

I would never give up on any of my friends because I love and care about them too much BUT I am not going to sugar coat and/or lie to them about anything when they ask me about something either. Just want to make that very clear.

I will always give the truth, no matter how much it hurts…..they will eventually one day thank me for being honest with them. With that being said, if you don’t want the truth then don’t ask me for it.

I want all of my friends to know that I love them and that I am always here……even though they make me angry sometimes…..

I love all of you!

Have you experienced a situation like this before??? Feel free to share your story.

Thanks for reading. Comments are always welcome.