I am writing this letter to you because I want you to know how much your mommy loves you and how much being a strong, independent, protective, and solid mother means to me! I want you to know how important your childhood and future means to me! You only get one childhood and I want to make it the best that it can possibly be. I want to do things right the first time. I want you to grow up to be a successful, intelligent, and independent young woman who is fearless! Being fearless is something important to me. I don't want to look back on your childhood and my parenting and have any regrets! I want you to be able to say that you have the best mother ever. You are 2 weeks away from being 10 months old at this current moment. There was so much inspiration behind this letter!
Yesterday, November 21, 2013, you and I were sitting in the recliner playing and laughing and you suddenly gave me a look that was different from any look that you had ever given me. You've always given me a look of pure love, trust, and loyalty but there was something about this look that was so different from all the other ones. It stole my heart and it started making me think about you, your life, me (in every aspect but mainly as a mother). I really started thinking about all the things that I would say to you and promise to you if you were old enough to understand and then that encouraged me to write you a letter and also post it to my blog that I started a month or two ago. Hopefully, one day I will be able to give this letter to you for you to always be able to hold onto!
First off, I want to start off by saying that I love you unconditionally! Since birth, it has been you and I and we have always stuck together and never left each other's side. You are a mommy's girl at heart and I enjoy every second of it. I am truly blessed to have you and when we have no one else, you can always count on mommy. I am not going ANYWHERE! You will forever have me by your side. There are a couple things that I want to promise you in this letter.
One thing that I want to promise you is trust and an unbreakable bond. I will never betray you, lie to you, or turn my back on you! You will always have me. Whether it is in a time of need or just as your mother and the person that you look up to, you will have me. I cannot imagine how untrustworthy people will be when you are older. People now are hard to trust and you don't find very many people that are true and genuine. I just hope that you remember that mommy will always be here. I will always be true to you and I will always support you in whatever you do.
Next, I want to promise you structure and discipline. You will get in trouble from time to time and you will push mommy's patience from time to time; that is all part of being a kid. I will get upset with you. You will disappoint me. I will get angry sometimes, I'm sure, but I want you to know that just because I am upset, disappointed, angry, etc. with you that I do NOT love you any less. I am sure that you will have your fair share of spankings/disciplinary action and once again, I want you to realize that spanking is only for your good and that I do NOT love you any less. I promise to provide you with stability and structure. I want home to be a loving and happy place for you. I want our relationship to be strong but you must realize that I am your MOTHER first and your FRIEND second.
Third, I want to promise you love. There is nothing greater in this world than love. You will always receive love and it will always be unconditional. No matter how much you disappoint me or make me angry, I will always love you.
Respect is another thing that I promise to you. Respect is a two way street in life! You must give it to receive it and the same goes for me. I will always respect you even in the hardest and most disappointing times.
Honesty is the best policy. Remember that. I will always be honest with you. There is a lot for you to know and learn throughout your life and there is a right time for everything so when the time is right, I will always be honest with you about anything that I feel you need to know and about anything that you want to know. I promise to never keep anything from you. With that being said, there are some things that might be a little hurtful for you and I want you to promise me that when that information is given to you that you use it as motivation to become a stronger and more powerful person. I don't want things that have happened in the past to be a barricade in your path of life. There are a lot of things that have happened long before you were old enough to remember and I want you to understand that no matter what has happened, mommy has always been here and that is what I will continue to do and we have been fine up until this point and we will continue to be fine.
Strength. I promise to be strong for you above all. Even in my hardest times, I promise to keep things together and keep a strong foundation for you. No matter how I am feeling, I promise to never allow my emotions to hinder you in any way! Strength is something important to have throughout life. You will one day see how important strength is.
Be fearless! Being fearless means to never let the fear or the cause of it take the better of me. Being fearless does not always mean complete absence of fear. It often means that you have the courage to smile and hope on the darkest of days. And when every thing is falling apart, you have the knowledge that God is guiding you and loves you. The faith that God is there even if no one else is makes me fearless and I hope that it makes you fearless as well baby girl. God is always there and he will never let you fall. He will always be there to catch you when no one else is.
I promise to always make you my top priority. No one will EVER come before you. You come first and I will make sure that never changes.
I promise to never put the responsibility of being your mother off on anyone else because it is no one else's responsibility to care for you, provide for you, etc. That is solely my responsibility as your parent. I will never put off my responsibilities on someone else.
Courage, I promise to teach you how to be courageous. Never let anything defeat you no matter how big or small it seems. This kind of goes with the being fearless. Courage is a huge thing in life. There will be a lot of times throughout your life that you will be scared to do certain things. But just remember, be courageous and never give up! Go at it head on! And conquer!
Most of all, I promise that I will be there for you no matter how old you are. I will love you for you and I will accept you for who you are. I may not agree with or like what you are doing but I promise to still love you through it and accept you for whatever choices you make. I promise to not be selfish or hypocritical. I know that I made mistakes as a kid and that I have done things in my life that were wrong and I know that at some point, you will do the same but I can promise you that it will be handled accordingly and that I will still love you. My love for you is unconditional and it is an everlasting love. It is a love that will not fade or die. It is a love that will not be taken from either one of us. It is a love that will forever burn strong. But most of all, it is a love that will overpower any other love that I will ever have for anyone else. The love that I have for you is different than any other kind of love. It is a love that words cannot express. It is special. It is sacred and I will not allow it to be taken from me or from you.
I love you and this is my promise to you as your mother! I hope that one day you can look back on this letter and read it and you will be able to say that I have kept every promise that I have made to you. You don't know how much you mean to me or what I would do to make sure that you are taken care of and protected. I would sacrifice my own life for you. You are number one in my life.
I cannot wait until you get older and can understand more because the thought of what our relationship will be is absolutely beautiful!
I love you Alana! Forever and always!
Love Always,
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